The boy who likes pink

I was talking to a 4 year-old boy the other day...

Me: So XXX, what's your favorite color?
Boy: Pink!
Me(a little taken aback): Pink is a nice color..
Boy: Boys can also like pink, not only girls.
Me: You are right, XXX! Absolutely right!!

This might seems like a very simple conversation. However, as I ponder over it, this boy amazes me. In a stereotypical society, it is not easy for anyone NOT to be surprised by a boy who likes pink. Or perhaps one will think, "Oh come on, he's just a 4 year-old boy, he'll outgrow this, and soon he will not say he likes pink anymore.."

As the boy went on to tell me that boys can like pink as well, not only girls, it goes to show that the boy is aware of the stereotypes that is present in this society. Yet, he is a confident boy, who is not afraid to tell people who he is, and what he likes. I am reminded of what my early childhood lecturer said about the importance of helping young children develop a sense of self-worth and confidence. "Today's children need that core, that belief (of who they are).. that will help them weather the storms of a materialistic society"


In today's 'Hannah Montana' world, everyone wants to be accepted by society, everyone wants to be that 'Hannah Montana' to be popular, if not accepted by their friends. As such, peer pressure is so strong, even starting from a young age. Anorexia is on the rise, teenage pregnancy is on the rise - all because everyone had that false sense of what's cool and wants to be accepted by their peers.

To me as a parent, how can I help my girl(s) withstand peer pressure, to uphold values that may appear 'uncool' among their peers? At present, one way I could think of, is to help them develop that self-worth - that confidence that they don't have to be cool, to follow the crowd to be well-liked by people. And to develop this, starts from a young age.

I am reminded of the book, Courduroy, which talks about a little bear at a toy store, who wants to be accepted and longed for a home. He thought it was because he looked dirty and had lost a button that a little girl didn't want to buy him. He got into all kinds of trouble in bid to find that missing button, only to realise that the reason why the little didn't buy him, was because she didn't have enough money. Finally, the girl saved enough money and was able to bring him home, despite the fact that he looked even dirtier now, and the button was still missing.

I was talking to a friend who expressed concern about enrolling her young child in a childcare/playgroup for fear of her learning bad habits from other children or succumbing to peer pressure, and is thus considering homeschooling her child. I start to ask myself, if avoidance really the solution here? Or would equipping our child with the right values and self-worth be a more effective ultimately?