Woes of a Ma'am

Since coming back to Singapore, and having 2 kids now, we decided that we really needed help and decided to get a domestic helper. We have never been pro-having a domestic helper in the house simply because we know that the employer-employee relationship is often a difficult one.

I'm never a good manager. Being a perfectionist who is ultra particular about cleanliness and hygiene, I must admit that it is not easy being my domestic helper. No matter how much experience one has, I would expect them to learn from scratch, even simple chores like how to wash the children's cups and bottles. Very often, I too, worry about whether I'm being too fierce, too uptight about hygiene, etc. Many of my friends will tell me things like, "Aiya, just close one eye lar...", "You should be grateful that you even have a helper..." Yet, I still find it very difficult to compromise where their work is concerned.

Today, human beings are very fragile. Not many people are willing to take correction anymore. I remember when I was an office staff, I've never had very kind bosses. I have had bosses who told me "For goodness sake, use your brains!" to bosses who had thrown a stack of paper in my face. Although i do not think these are management styles we should emulate, it kind of start me thinking that, gone are the days whereby domestic helpers will just say, "Yes, Ma'am" and mean what they say.

The Bible, [Hebrews 12:7] says, "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?" When faced with such bosses in the past, even though I might curse and swear behind their backs, in the face of each scolding, I remembered I had not fought back, and sometimes I knew I had no choice but to follow what they say if I still want to keep this job. Ironically, it is usually under these very extreme bosses, that I did well and advance in my career.

I have heard of many people saying that today, sometimes, it's no longer the helpers who are at the mercy of the employers; in fact, it's the employers who are at the mercy of the maids because they need to rely on their domestic helpers. I am beginning to understand it all now.... Really, who's the boss?