I want to be my children's bodyguard?

I had recently came across an incident in my 4 year-old's preschool, that threw me into panic about how 'terrible' our children and schools have become.

Here's the story:
A friend of mine, whose daughter attends the same preschool as Ariel, wrote in her facebook that her daughter has been hurt by the comments of 2 girls on the school bus. The 2 girls, have told the 4 year-old girl that they do not like her, and they don't want to 'friend' her. My friend's daughter was clearly upset and on the next school-day refuses to go to school.

Honestly, when I heard that, I was terrified and horrified to learn that bullying start as early as preschool?!! I told my friend to inform the school, so that the school can teach the right values to the children! My husband and I are worried that the 2 girls who 'bullied' this girl may one day, bully our daughter too!

However upon thinking further and consulting a friend, my perspective changed 180 degrees. As parents, I think we get frightened when our children get hurt, whether physically or emotionally. We wish we can protect our children from harm as long as we can. We want to be our children's bodyguard!

However, come to think of it, being overprotective actually has more cons. When I heard of my friend's experience, I was quick to jump in defense of the 'victim'. I was afraid Ariel might be bullied as well. However, the truth is, when we become over-protective, we are in fact, shielding our children from the realities of life. The reality is, wherever we go, we are bound to meet with people who do not like us, so, what's the big deal, really?!

Following this incident, I asked Ariel the question: "Ariel, what if one day, your friends say to you, that they don't like you, and they don't want to be your friend anymore." Ariel thought for a while and replied, "It's ok, I will still be happy... some friends are good, and some friends are bad." Oh well, I am certainly learning lots of stuff from this 4 year-old of mine!! I think as parents, we need to build our children's self-esteem, especially in this turbulent world of ours. Moral values are deteriorating among the youths of today and it's important to teach our children not to follow trends blindly, simply in order to be liked by their friends.

In addition, I think parents, like me, tend to have a high expectation on schools to educate our children. After checking with a childcare teacher friend, I came to realise that this kind of remarks is very common among young children. It really depends on how a particular child takes rejection and comments such as these. It made me realise that while the primary function of school is to teach, schools are really not obligated to take the place of parents. Parents still need to be the ones to pass on moral values to our children. As parents, we are responsible for our children's character development as well. There are just certain things we cannot outsource to schools and teachers.

How our children turn out in the future still depends on the kind of parenting he/she receives as family has the greatest influence over a child. By shielding them too much, and trying to rescue them from the harsh realities of life, we are actually causing more harm to the children. Just like how a little caterpillar needs to struggle through to turn into a butterfly, we should let our children struggle at times, coz only then will they grow up and become stronger..