Big fish in a small pond

And so, the time has finally arrived and Ariel is moving on to formal school education. As much as I've always hoped for the day to come since they were born - on the pretext that I'll have more free time, since they're going to spend more hours in school - I've come to realise that parenting really does get harder as the children grows.

On choosing THE primary school to go to, most parents in Singapore would opt for the best school they can possibly get their kids into. Everyone wants to be the best isn't it? I've the privilege of being in the alumnae of a good school in Singapore, and so am spared the agony of balloting. However, most do not realise that accompanying the reputation of a good school is that of a big pool of talented students and competitive parents.

During Ariel's Orientation, I was relieved to hear the Principal of the school reminding parents NOT to compare their kids' results, achievements or piano levels, but focus on a well-rounded, holistic education. I really appreciate the Principal, but I know: Although we know this in our heads, in the hearts of every parent, we'll still compare. After all, this is the by-product of our country's meritocratic system!

I admit that as much as I don't like to be caught in the competitive nature of education, to say that I'm NOT in the least bit competitive, I'd be kidding myself. I was from a very competitive environment after all. I did consider sending my kids to a neighbourhood school just so that I would never have to be caught in senseless chatters like "how did your girl do for the Maths test?", but then I did think to myself, would it be any better?

So, the questions arise: Do I prefer my kid to be a big fish in a small pond; or a small fish in a big pond? Am I (or her) be able to withstand the "rat race" in an elite school?

First of all, I'd think being a big fish in a small pond is definitely a feel-good thing. I'm a perfectionist and I know I'd be perfectly happy being the parent of some star student. Well, who doesn't like to receive praises about their child right?

Being a small fish in a big pond is a lot more stress for the parents. Imagine parents 'sharing notes' on the best tuition centres in town; parents asking your kids what are the grades your kids got; parents debating why their child cannot get into the best class or not receive the well-rounded award. OR if your child happens to be a big fish, as the saying goes, "树大招风“, parents will be talking behind your back and teachers will have high expectations on your child (AND you). These to me, are harder.

As to how things would work out for Ariel in the big pond? I really do not know. Although I can psycho myself to only focus on Ariel enjoying learning and not be affected by the surrounding, I know that's easier said than done. I know I will be competitive; I know I would be concern if she's meeting the mark. But I guess the best I can be, is really to keep these stress to ourselves and to suck it in.

While being a big fish in a small pond is an easier choice, I know the big fish in a small pond will eventually have to move to a bigger pond at one point or another. How then, will she cope? It's better to get use to the big pond now..